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Matt Spence's avatar

What a wonderful piece from Dr. Liu! It seems to me the fundamental tension in both the US and China is that traditional family models relied on the assumption that the young would always substantially outnumber the old, and that the elderly would not live long after retirement. It’s much easier to care for elderly parents when there are 3-5 children to split the work and it only needs to happen for 5-10 years of retirement. Now we have 1-2 children splitting the work of caring for elderly parents for 20+ years, and even though we have fewer children the intensity of parenting has gone up dramatically such that child-rearing burdens have not really declined. The smaller number of parent-child relationships also leads us to put much more pressure for fulfillment on them individually, ironically straining those very relationships.

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Jiang Jiang's avatar

Oh, it's same trend in the U.S.? Fewer children?

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Matt Spence's avatar

Yeah, it’s less pronounced and slower but same direction.

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Pechmerle's avatar

Interesting, and insightful.

I wonder if Dr. Liu has seen, or will view, the recent American movie "The Materialists." An Asian director! Exploring some of these same rational choice -vs emotional growth - issues.

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Jiang Jiang's avatar

Well, I don't know if she has watched that, but I will check this out. Thank you!

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J M Hatch's avatar

One thing I find a bit confusing is that for much of China's history male children did not leave the home, and female children were even more confined. However having Children was not a problem then, so can being dependent on parents now be anymore infantile /restricting of personal growth in to adulthood? If so, then what exactly has changed between the old arrangements and the new?

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Jiang Jiang's avatar

I guess in traditional China, staying home didn’t stall maturity because the family was the socioeconomic unit—working the land or managing household crafts was adult responsibility. Dependency wasn’t infantilizing because roles were clearly defined (e.g., filial duties, inheritance systems). Modern society, however, defines adulthood by external benchmarks (career, homeownership) that demand early financial independence—yet paradoxically requires prolonged education. Parents now act as 'life subsidies' for goals the traditional system never imposed.

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J M Hatch's avatar

"Parents now act as 'life subsidies' for goals the traditional system never imposed." I've often wondered how long traditional filial piety would last under a modern, nearly western, capitalist economic model of full labor exploitation.

Hongkong, at least when I lived there from 1980s to 2010s, went from a very strong resemblance to traditional agrarian society in a concrete jungle (IMHO because mobility was restricted) to a not insignificant number of abandoned elderly, ether completely cast off or shoved into elderly "care" warehouses/barracks to free up space/resources. When one sees this happening, it really rocks the perception that children are a form of security.

I understand there are laws in China to stand-in for former peer-pressure/moral norms, but are the laws effective and well enforced? I have not seen street sleeping elderly in China on my visits, but I'm hardly a pervasive observer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYFVTbft0hs

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